buy me a boa and drive me to reno

Mind of a sixteen-year-old trapped in a body of a thirty-something, with the difference that at sixteen I imagined knowing what life was about. I post things that make me laugh or cry or nod my head in agreement. You know. Cats. Feminism. The occasional Martin Freeman.

can-i-please-just-fade-away:

samandriel:

[x] “One does not simply dancey dance into Mordor”

image

this is the 3rd time i’ve reblogged this and I am still laughing hystarically

(via uss-frosty-rose)

  • Lady on the bus next to me: Tell me again- what are you not going to do in daycare today?
  • Little boy: I will not hit the teacher with a light saber.
  • Lady: And why are you not going to hit her with a light saber?
  • Boy: It is my toy, and my choice, but if I hit her with the light saber, I'm acting like a Sith.
  • Lady: Do you want to be a Sith?
  • Boy: No! I am Obi-Wan!
lotolle:

purplesmauge:

clarityandchaos:

earloffabulousness:

everybody stop what you’re doing, its a cat cleaning a baby

"Stupid furless humans can’t take care of their kitten, I have to do everything myself."

My favourite thing is baby sitting up thinking “What the fuck is that?”  Then seeing the cat, thinks “Very well, continue.”

Stupid furless humans.

lotolle:

purplesmauge:

clarityandchaos:

earloffabulousness:

everybody stop what you’re doing, its a cat cleaning a baby

"Stupid furless humans can’t take care of their kitten, I have to do everything myself."

My favourite thing is baby sitting up thinking “What the fuck is that?”  Then seeing the cat, thinks “Very well, continue.”

Stupid furless humans.

(via acrumblebatchwithcustardfreeman)

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

gallifrey-feels:

More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married

It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve

(via mapleleafcameo)

(via geardrops)

tastefullyoffensive:

How to Get 10% Off Your Order at Not a Burger Stand in Burbank, CA

Previously: Funny and Creative Sandwich Board Signs

(via mapleleafcameo)

My life is a struggle between my need for acceptance, my fear of rejection, and a desire to not care at all.
Anonymous (via wnq-writers)

(via intobattle)

butt-grab:

so we went to an improv show and we played this game where somebody is given a trait and another player has to guess what it is based on how they answer questions

and one of the players who was a taxidermist was asked “what do you do for a living?” and she replied “oh you know…. stuff” AND TO THIS DAY THAT IS THE GREATEST PUN I HAVE EVER HEARD MY GOD

(via naturalshocks)